untitled chapter one?

I have no clue what this is going to be called, whether I’ll be posting this or even if this is how I want to go about this, but if you’re seeing this I obviously posted this lol…but man. man. man. Heartbreak is the worst. As many of you may know there’s been a mysterious “G” all over this blog…subtle hints and honestly there have been so many reasons to just keep it all under wraps. I read this article one time about how when you put your relationship out there, you have to explain “breaks” or whatever obstacles to people because you want to control the narrative…well this is. little different. I didn’t show him to the world. We kind of agreed on that? It was complicated. There were so many reasons we decided not to share one another on social media, blog, etc. outside of to our personal sources like secondary instagrams and snapchat. I guess that’s what I wanted? Should I keep lying or just be honest? Honestly this was the first person I ever loved. I wanted to share this person with the world, but I was afraid…I never share my personal business. I barely have family members on my social media because well, I respect people’s personal space and I am a blogger, I share…ALOT. If I ever blog about someone, I would never want anyone to go attacking them. I would never want anyone to perceive them as any different because of my experience with them. This blog is about living, loving, and learning. I’ve gone all my life pretending to be ‘perfect’. Life isn’t perfect. I’m not perfect. I get frustrated, annoyed, angry, sad, upset, and honestly…I’m tired of pretending everything is good and I’m okay because that’s not real. I can’t help anyone, I can’t make an impact if I'm constantly trying to fit a persona of perfection. I am not perfect. I’m human.

Message to myself:


You don’t have to be happy all the time, its normal to have good and bad days. Give yourself a little grace and trust in the process. Trust that God’s got you…even if you never see it. Trust in Him before anything else.

chapter three